I am more than this body

25^th November, 2007

Talked about my fears and how frightened I feel with lots of people today, which has helped. Talking to Jue was the best; we are very tuned into one another which is good in one way, but makes me feel sad at the thought of Mum and Dad and Jue without me when I die.

I am more frightened of the dying process than I thought I would be. I keep remembering people I have laid out, washed them and wrapped them in a sheet. Juliet asked if I would like her to do it for me. I hadn’t anticipated this, and whilst I wouldn’t mind, I suppose I would like her to remember me as I am now. However there is something quite comforting in knowing that she will have made sure I am respected and will have been with me right through until my body is cared for. I say ‘body’ quite deliberately as I am a true believer that ‘me’, who and what I am, is spiritual, and when I die it is this spirit that leaves the body, which is just a shell.